Thoughts about being single

Dating sucks and it feels specifically hard right now. After the third time being ghosted this month (not the spooky season I wanted), I decided to take a break from dating and focus on the pros of being single. Let me tell you, there are plenty!

Being single has taught me how to rely on myself and develop self-love. In this relationship-centric society, it takes extra reliance and self-love to stay true to yourself and become your best ally. I have been able to explore my own identity without bounds. This has led to big realizations like that I am queer and that I want a life full of close relationships and not just focused on one romantic relationship.

I have also explored many ways of living. I have lived in group houses, with my sister, and alone. These different living experiences have taught me more about myself, how I relate to others, and what I want. And have lived in so many different places. Places that I feel excited by and drawn to. Living in D.C. fulfilled a childhood dream and solidified a value I hold of doing impactful work.  In Denver, I felt connected to the mountains and spent time with family and friends. In Portland, I got to rely on myself to make good friends, develop my skills as an artist, and live in a city that lured me with its overwhelming beauty. The ample time I have had to focus on myself and what is best for me has allowed me to unshackle myself from people-pleasing tendencies and shame.

Being single has shaped me into the person I am today: brave, free, and independent. I’m hopeful that one day I will meet someone I want to be in a relationship with. I hope that my future partner will have their strengths from a period of being single because I know all the power it has given me.